I've mentioned before that piercings are more than just accessories. They can be empowering, especially for teens, during identity exploration. A piercing can serve as a lasting reminder of one's autonomy and milestones.
There are also the emotional perks - piercings often boost self-confidence. In a conformist society, a piercing can also be a form of rebellion or a statement of individuality, making you happy each time you look in the mirror.
But how do you know when your child is ready for a piercing? The main thing to remember is daily cleaning, avoiding touch, and being cautious of trauma are some of the responsibilities that come with a new piercing. For parents, this can mean additional time spent overseeing the aftercare, especially for younger children who might not yet have the discipline or understanding to do it themselves. Even if that is the case, the child can still prove themselves to be ready. You can set goals for them to meet like doing chores or getting good grades, to show they can handle a piercing. It's like when parents say you can have a pet if you prove you're responsible - the same idea applies to getting a piercing.
Mutual understanding and agreement are very important. And not just so the parent can scribble their signature and get the child to shut up about the piercing. It also ensures a smooth and comfortable experience for the child. An open talk about your child's desire for the piercing and what it means to them, can provide valuable insight into their readiness. And a little note to the kids from someone who has done this in the past: if you go behind your parent's back to get a piercing after they've said no, you're proving their point - you’re not responsible, trustworthy, or ready for such a commitment.
Piercing young children involves an important ethical question - how young is too young? Experts in both the medical and piercing communities generally agree that children should be of an age where they can give informed consent. This is why many professionals, including me, have age limitations.
At my studio we have specific age guidelines to ensure ethical and safe piercing practices. We start offering piercings at the age of 7. For those aged 7-15, a parent or legal guardian must be present. 16 and 17 year olds can get a piercing alone but must provide a signed consent form, which can be obtained via email, along with a copy of the signing parent or guardian's ID. And even if a child meets the age requirements, the piercing will not be performed if I sense that they are not comfortable with the decision, regardless of parental consent. Similarly, if a teenager seems to be pressuring a hesitant parent into allowing a piercing, I will talk to the parent to ensure that everyone is on board with the decision. My priority is everyone's safe, ethical, and consensual experience.
It's highly advisable to wait until children can actively participate in both the decision and the aftercare process before getting them pierced. Infants and toddlers cannot give their consent or understand that they can’t touch the piercing. Moreover, their ears are still small and growing rapidly, making it challenging to achieve accurate placement. This can result in poorly aligned or even dangerously low piercings that risk tearing and may require surgical correction later in life.
Parents often have concerns about their child getting a piercing, whether about safety, cleanliness, or societal judgment — "What will grandma say about that nose ring?" While these concerns are valid, it's also important to understand your child's need for self-expression. Have an open dialogue, sharing your worries but also hear your child out. Have them do research about the piercing they want and reputable piercing artists near you. And remember your youthful days. What is a piercing to your child could have been ripped jeans or layered hair to you back in the day. My dad, for instance, once had an “illegal” mohawk and pierced his own ear, but was strict about me getting piercings. I didn't get my first lobe piercings until 13, which felt very late at the time. To be fair, I wasn't the most responsible kid, and I now understand my parents' point of view better. I also recall when my parents finally agreed to let me have double lip piercings but offered a choice between that and tickets to a Slash concert. It was a very good concert. (I still ended up getting my piercings when I turned 18).
The dialogue surrounding the decision to get a piercing should be open, honest, and mutual. Both the parent and child must be comfortable with the decision. Your child's wish to have a piercing is as significant as your willingness to allow it. It's an opportunity to foster respect, understanding, and responsible decision-making. Kids, also understand that your parents may have valid concerns about safety and responsibility that deserve your attention. Coming to an agreement on this decision can be a valuable bonding experience, reinforcing trust and openness in your relationship.
